It hurts
The strings in my fingers.
The despair that in me lingers.
Playing to try and fill a hole
Of all in life I cannot control.
I try to find strength for my voice
But sometimes I’m given no choice.
I wonder why I still live,
Still collecting crosses to forgive.
This skin already burns
With no more places for scars to turn.
Perhaps what moves me is some faith
That somehow something will fall into place.
I search for a bed to finally rest,
But life keeps putting me to test.
I wonder if suffering will ever end
As I try to breathe. Count to ten.
Sometimes I believe I have nothing else to fear
All of it was shredded into every tear.
For once I’d like to be free,
Walk through a forest, set my feet at the waving sea.
But as I can barely let in air
I’m starting to think this isn’t fair.
That weight on the chest so tight
I don’t know how I still fight.
I try to turn off from pain
But I feel like I’m going insane.
In the end, it’s not the body
That worries me the most.
It’s all the sorrowless sorry
That as taken me as host.
18th August 2021